E03–BE CURIOus, not judgmental

In this third installment of the Make the Shift Newsletter, I will delve into the extraordinary power of curiosity and explore how you can cultivate this superpower by making small shifts.

If you’re a Ted Lasso fan, you’ll surely recall the standout moment from the show that perfectly illustrates the concept of curiosity.

The Ted Lasso dart scene creates learning on two levels—

1. How we judge others.

2. How we respond when others judge us.

Rupert, the arrogant former owner of the football team, was convinced that Ted, the new and seemingly inexperienced coach, wouldn’t win the darts game.

He judged Ted and allowed his arrogance to prevent him from learning more about Ted’s background and experience. He assumed he was better.

Ted, on the other hand, despite the judgment he faced, calmly and unassumingly went on to win the game.

He engaged despite the negativity. He did not let Rupert’s perception come in his way. Instead, he used the opportunity to make an important point: judgment closes off opportunities.

(If you haven’t seen it yet, trust me—you’ll want to check this scene out! 👇)

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When we judge, we often make assumptions based on incomplete information, our unconscious biases, or our belief in our own superiority—we think we know better.

However, when we are curious, we seek to understand, and that understanding fuels growth, connection, and better decision-making.

Personally, as a coach, I have frequently experienced and observed the limiting impact of judgment.

Last year, while working with a mid-level leader, one of the topics he brought to our session was an underperforming team member.

He was frustrated with the member’s lack of drive and commitment and wanted to understand whether he should let him go or give him another chance.

“What will help you decide that?” I asked.

“I don’t know; maybe I need to know more,” he responded.

I took a moment and quickly shared this one-minute clip with him. It was an ‘a-ha’ moment for him, and right after that, he formulated three questions to learn more:

1. What might be affecting his performance?

2. What support does he need?

3. What perspectives is he not considering?

The rest is history: He not only decided not to let go of this team member, but the member’s performance began to exceed expectations and, within a year, he became one of the key members of the team.

Think about it: Had he not become curious and instead remained judgmental, he might have lost a very valuable member of his team.

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Curiosity is a superpower

Curiosity is a key to growth—not just as leaders, but as humans.
When we approach situations with curiosity:

• We discover opportunities instead of obstacles.
• We replace assumptions with insights.
• We listen more than we speak.
• We resolve conflicts that daunt us.
• We embrace and appreciate differences.
• We connect with people at a deeper level.

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​Curiosity is not a trait; it’s a practice.

Here’s what you can do to strengthen your curiosity muscle—

1. Raise your awareness of your judgment.
2. When you catch yourself making assumptions, explore if you can ask a question instead.
3. Consider what more you need to know.
4. Reflect on what you might be missing.

Are you with me? Are you ready to make this one shift this week—from judgment to curiosity?

Let’s cultivate your curiosity together.